First Day

Today was Kingston's first day at daycare and he broke my heart. I told Ryan that I couldn't take him in for his first day. I didn't think I could leave him there. My baby is so fragile in so many ways and I didn't want to be the one responsible for breaking him. By pushing it on Ryan I remained innocent. I thought about him the entire day. I picked mr. slim pants up tonight and I think he was shocked to see me. I think he thought that daycare was his new orphanage and it made me so sad. I hate to put that pain on him. I believe is quite happy to be a Lentz and all I want is for him to feel secure and to know that he isn't leaving us. However, he is just too young to understand. Everest was old enough to get it even with the language barrier. We would point to a picture of home and say "1", then point to school and say "2" and then finally point to home again and say "3." He got our diluted way of telling him how his day would go and it just worked. Beebs is another story. He is just such a baby in so many ways. But he got through it and I got through it and here we are. 10:00 at night. I am exhausted. Good night.