Sick Again

I’m sick again.

Strep throat x 3 or 4. Not sure how many times anymore.

I know when it is coming now. I can feel it seeping in about a week before I get the sore throat and white spots. I start to get incredibly fatigued to where I don’t even want to leave the house. I don’t have the energy to do anything. It makes me feel so sad and guilty that I can’t be more interactive with the boys but I honestly can’t do it. I don’t want this to be my new normal but I haven’t felt great since getting back from China. Even on my “non-strep” days I have minimal energy.

The kids are doing well. They are happy for the most part. They bicker, they scream and then they will play nice for a half a second. It is tiring as if strep throat wasn’t exhausting enough. Yesterday Everest said, “Mom are you just going to go nuts today?” Yes, I thought.

Work is work. Again, hard to have energy to get up and go to work these days. Took half a vacation day on Friday because I was so out of it.

Ryan asked me if I thought I was depressed. I’m not. I want to feel good and happy but my body won’t let me.

Heading to the doc today for more antibiotics. Wondering if the tonsils will need to come out. At this point I almost want them to.

I do need a break, there’s no doubt. A Ryan and me break. To get to normal or an attempted normal for a night or two. Not sure KT will let that happen. Wherever I go, KT is sure to follow. I honestly konk him on the head getting pots or pans out of the cupboard or milk out of the fridge because my human shadow is right behind me. “Moommmma, mommmmaaa, mooommma.”