In a Moment

I read someone’s blog post today where they were talking about the first time they saw their children in person and I realized that I never really talked much about it.  How looking back I realize how profound both moments were.

On Everest Day we were told our meeting would be delayed a bit.  Not good news for overly anxious parents.  We went to the grocery store and came back quickly because we did not want to miss anything.  We sat at the window.  Ryan saw him first.  A little boy holding a stuffed dog.  The stuffed dog we now we refer to as China Doggie.  What I remember feeling was somewhat of a cross between sheer exhilaration, raw emotion and overwhelming panic.  It gives me chills to think about now.  Your heart feels like it will go through your throat.  He looked so small and vulnerable.  We received a call and headed down to meet him.  He warmed to us right away.  He was full of smiles and we were awed by this child who readily called us momma and bobba.  He was this little bundle of energy and cuteness and he scared us.  He scared the shit out of us.  He was ours and we were his.  No turning back.  Our lives were changed in the blink of an eye.  I can picture the sparkle in his eye and the smirk of his lips like it was yesterday.

Now meeting Kingston was a completely different experience and I am happy that it didn’t take place at the hotel.  I am glad that they met us in different locations so that their experiences didn’t have to be shared.  So much of their lives are shared already.  We rode to the orphanage mostly in silence.  What we were doing seemed so huge not only because we were about to meet our second son, but also because of the little man already in the van with us.  An only son about to get a brother.  He was ecstatic.  I remember holding Ryan’s hand.  I remember tearing up at how huge it all was because we were seeing where Everest spent the first years of his life and we were picking up Kingston there.  It was like coming full circle.  We went into a conference room and were there for a few moments before I turned around and there he was.  A little wisp of a boy who looked at me with his big, sad eyes.  I can picture the huge tears in his eyes and the biting of his lower lip like it was yesterday.  I remember feeling instantly drawn to this little creature because he seemed so needy.  He needed a mom, a dad, a brother and a sandwich. 

You are so in the moment at the time that you can’t sit back and ponder the profound monumental event taking place.  It is only after that you can hope to remember the small details.