NYC and Home Again

I'm home.  After a long week of waaaay too much food and alcohol and I am back.  I am on a self-prescribed detox.  If I lived in NY I would be a fat alcholic with insomnia.  Apparently nobody in NY goes to bed before 12 AM and apparently they don't get into work too early either.  That is the case it seems if you live there.  If you are there for work from out of town, you start work at your normal time.  This leads to exhaustion.  I am worn out.

I had a great time though.  Ryan and I started the trip bright and early last Friday and we arrived in NY around 10:30 am.  We headed straight to our hotel and dropped off our luggage and just started to walk.  And walk and walk and walk and walk.  Again, New Yorkers seem to do a lot of this.  My feet and legs hurt like they have never hurt before.  Flip flops were perhaps not the smartest shoewear choice but it was way too hot for anything else.  NY has heat beyond heat with all of the pavement and people. 

Our hotel was quite the trendy, hipster spot to stay.  The Standard was not standard in any sense although the rooms could have been a bit more swanky for the price you pay to stay there.  I guess they used up the budget on the rest of the common areas.  The guest rooms had what they call, "peekaboo showers."  Yes, that's right folks, no doors on the showers.  Hilarious.  Glad we were not staying with the kids, that would have scarred them for life.  I watched the morning news while showering.  Kind of like multi-tasking.

We ate fabuously.  On Sunday night we went to Buddakan and it was oppulent dining at its best.  When in NY do as New Yorkers do.  Let's pay an unseemly amount of money on dinner and drinks.  The atmosphere and food was amazing though.  Well worth the price.  Unreal. 

We explored a lot.  Soho, Little Italy, Lower Manhattan, Upper West Side, Lower East Side...we hit them all.  My feet are mad.  I think my favorite part was just being with Ryan.  We needed it.

Monday came way too soon for us as Ryan headed out that night.  I was so unbelievably sad.  However, in a few hours, Trish, my manager, took his place and everybody else filtered in throughout the next day so I was not lonely in the big city for long.  We went to the yarn show and met with mills and vendors and then headed out for drinks and appetizers.  We ended the night on a boat on the Hudson River drinking Coronas.  I was one of the less hung-over people the next morning.  Each morning and night repeated itself.  Rewind repeat, rewind repeat, rewind repeat.  Hence the exhaustion.

It was awesome to see the kids.  KT is potty trained.  He dropped his drawers to show me his new Toy Story undies when I walked in the door.  It is AWESOME!!  I am so proud of him.  He got fully dressed this morning before he came into my room.  Granny Margy is the child whisperer.  She has those kids trained.  Now Ryan and I just have to try not to mess it up.  KT likes his momma to take care of everything so it's a hard habbit for the little rabbit to break but I think he is off to a great start this morning.  Let's hope it is retained.  If not, maybe Ryan and I will head off to Hawaii for a couple of weeks.....

Rule #1: no hitting. Rule #2: no spitting Rule #3: no whining

I think I’m fully-recovered from yesterday’s rant.  It was cathartic.  I am actually witty and smiling at work today.  SHOCKING, I know.

The kids were wonderful today in getting ready.  There was minimal stalling and minimal whining.  Again, SHOCKING, I know.  Kingston even got out my sandals for me.  In response I started stomping my feet, hitting the wall and yelling, “BUT YOU NEED TO HELP MOMMA.  I CAAAAAN’T PUT ON MY SANDALS.  UGH UGH UGH.  I CAAAAAAAN’T.  HELP MEEEEEEE NOW!!!!!!!”  Kingston stopped laughing long enough to look at me and simply say, “Momma you whining!” 

My Rants - I apologize in advance

Dear first born,

Why must you thwart my efforts at getting us out of the house early?  We were so close today.  We were at the shoe putting on point in the routine, when all of a sudden I hear the familiar bellow of, “MOOO-OOOOM I GOTTA GO POOOO-OOOOP.”  Son, you are not an in-and-out-get-um-done sort of boy.  You are a lackadaisical pooper.  I have always known it was a matter of time before books started to accompany you into the potty and last week it happened.  Now we are going to be officially unable to remove your booty from the toilet seat.  Regardless of my encouraging, “Everest, let’s get a move on, squeeze those suckers out,” you sit and sit and sit and sit.

Dear daycare lady,

Don’t you realize that I am in a hurry in the morning?  Why must you thwart my efforts of getting to work on time now that we are not early from above mentioned son’s pooping?  You tell me that my youngest son didn’t get to go to swimming lessons, yes swimming lessons THAT WE PAID FOR, because we wrapped up his owie.  For your information, the owie was wrapped up in Coban wrap, which is what we use for swimming.  By the way, I told the other teacher that he could go in the water with it on.  Oh, you didn’t know that?!?  Why must you admit that to me?  That just shows that there is NO COMMUNICATION going on there.  Oh, but he had fun playing with all of the toys there?  That’s nice.  Did I mention that WE PAID FOR SWIMMING LESSONS NOT TOY PLAYING?!?  Yeah, we did.

By the way, how about trying to teach my boy some ABCs or 123s?  I know that you are just trying to get through the day while dealing with maniacal children, same as the rest of us parents.  But unlike parents, YOU GET PAID FOR IT!!!!!!!

Dear slow driver,

Why must you actually make me late for work?  I realize that you are as old as dirt and probably can’t see but the speed limit says 55, which means you go at least 60.  NOT 43!!!!  Oh, you don’t know where you are going?  GET A MAP.  Or if you are technically savvy, which you are apparently not since you can’t drive your car, there is this thing called a GPS.  Oh, you were in the 3^rd Infantry?  You know how I know that?  You were driving so slow that I had a lot of time to study your license plate.  Thanks for serving our country now how about serving me and getting off the damn road.

Happy 4th of July

I’m back again. 

I know that at least my dad still reads this.  He told me last night.  So I’m back again.  Even though he knows 99% of my stories before I write them.

We had a HOT 4^th of July like so many others in the midwest.  We started the day by crashing our neighborhood association picnic.  It would have been great to hang out there longer if
A) it wasn’t 200 degrees in the shade.

B) they had alcoholic beverages.

So given that these two things didn’t work to our advantage, we didn’t stay long.  Plus, we never paid our neighborhood association dues.  We took off before we were found out.  I can hear them whispering right now, “Those Lentz’s…they never paid their $20….Those kids?!?  I can hear those two kids screaming down the block….And the parent’s?!?  I would hardly call them parents…More like white trash babysitters.  Did you see them in their front yard drinking as the kids rode their bikes?  And was that music coming out of their garage?  I mean, what is this the trailer park?  We just don’t get those kinds around here.”

Then we went to the pool where we continued to class it up.  On my watch Mr. Kingston kept on running back to our chairs and I caught a glimpse of him holding his wenus (ha, like the term?!?).  I thought, oh boy, he is going to want to potty on the GRA (see subsequent post).  I asked him if he had to potty and he said yes.  After quickly putting on my shoes (I should mention that he didn’t have a diaper on at this point – it had already exploded) I picked him up and we made it about 3 steps before I felt a bit of warmth and then a lot of warmth cascading down the side of me.  THE KID PEED ON ME.  I washed myself off in the pool  - thanks for the chlorine bath Middleton Pool – and we left.  We marked our territory, thank you and goodbye.

The next day (it should be illegal to have to work the day after the 4^th) I dropped KT off at daycare and the teacher told me, “Oh my goodness, little Mr. Kingston is doing such a good job at pottying in the toilet.” 

Thank you and goodbye.

Summertime Part Two

Can I just say how much I love summer?  How I wish the winter months existed only to give me a couple of snow days off from work?  Summer is just EASY.  No coats to put on, no mittens to get lost, no boots to track in snow.  Clothing is EASY - here kid put on your swimmers.  They kinda look like shorts and you don't need your under grunders.  Summer is so easy that we keep on forgetting to bring Kingston's diapers with us to the beach.  His diapers get so full of water and expand so much that they explode and deposit the white inards wherever he plants his bottom, which is ok because unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) Kingston has taken a liking to peeing outside on the grass.  He says, "I wanna potty in the GRA (note no S sound)."  He says this loud. and gets louder if you do not answer to his piss whim right away.  He will not be deterred.  It makes me giggle.  So yesterday at the state park I had to take him behind some cars so he could pee.  He does a good job and gets a total kick out of himself.  However, he started to bend over so that he could poop too and I draw the line at pooping outside.  He may act like one sometimes but he is not a bear.  Everest told Kingston he was going to call the police on him since he was peeing outside and then proceeded to ask if he too could pee outside.  The sheriff shall be visiting us at any point I am to assume.  The only problem I see with this whole scenario (besides older calling the cops on the younger, which is something that could feasibly happen in the future) is that now Kingston wants to whip out his wee to pee on things besides the GRA.  Yesterday he wanted to pee in the bath and then walked his little nakedness over to the shower and pretended to pee on the door.  He didn't but it is just a matter of time as he thinks he is quite witty while doing these shenanigans.  Ah but I digress.  I love summer.  The past two weekends were filled with exploring Madison and the surrounding area finding lakes and state parks for the boys to play in.  Today we are heading to the pool before going to my friend's daughter's birthday party, where there will be more water.  The heat is so crazy that it is the only thing to do.  Oh darn, let's go swimming again.  Ahhh, with swimming comes ice cold margaritas.  No wonder I love the summer months.  Talk to you later, gotta go pee in the GRA.